Why men have extramarital affairs?
Speak about a loaded subject that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Amusing thing, extramarital affairs have been going on ever since ancient times. Affairs can be burdened with evils, cause sorrow, and other harms. Plus you must wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness matter, money, age dissimilarity, religious background, guilt, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I shall define an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, discreet wives dating.
Why do women have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are women seeking an affair. I am conserned typically though it is just the human condition, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
Biologically we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and fun, and sex makes us escape the real world for a brief period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody can switch the longing on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos humanity has erected against extra-marital affairs. For many people the yearnings will overcome their worries and make them risk the anger of not only their relatives, but the public also. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is awfully pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not hurt your family or anybody else? You will need to lessen the threat you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the largest group, colossal really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, but they are comfortable in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to think about. Your savings are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them completing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An affair occasionally solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage whole.
Ignoring, sadly this is a common reason I fear. One or the other, as a rule the husband is sexually neglecting his wife for a large humber of reasons. As a male I actually am thankful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them obtainable to us men of romance, making them “hot wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, maybe compassion is vanished, maybe it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have just grown distantly, our common interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is conflicting of what you want. Could be I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for financial gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.